Rev. Minson: We Cannot Afford to Lose One More

The deaths of two Suffolk County police officers just one week apart have prompted a chaplain with nearly 50 years of ministry to deliver a powerful message about suicide, the courage to seek help and the lifelong suffering left behind for families, friends and fellow officers.

Rev. Bill Minson, whose nearly 50 years of ministry include chaplaincy work across the country, traveled to Suffolk County to support the department following the deaths of Detective Alexandra “Ali” DeLeonardo Infante of Ronkonkoma and Police Officer Christopher Durham of Commack.

Infante was a nine-year department veteran, while Durham previously served with the NYPD. Minson attended both funerals, witnessing the devastation among fellow officers and grieving families.

“We cannot afford to lose one more first responder,” Minson said. “The greatest pain that I experience is when we cannot help and save the people who run to danger to save people whose names they do not know.”

Minson believes the traditional definition of strength must change, particularly among first responders accustomed to confronting danger and putting the needs of others ahead of their own.

“Strength must now be determined by having the courage to reach out for help,” he said.

He warned that those contemplating suicide must understand the lasting devastation their deaths can leave behind.

“While the victim is running away from their pain, which leads to suicide, they have to be made aware and understand the lifetime of pain they’re leaving behind for their families, friends and everyone who will miss them, the ones who will blame themselves because, ‘I should have seen something,’” Minson explained.

“Suicide only leaves agony, almost never answers of why. It truly is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

Minson said emotional struggles can go unnoticed, even among close colleagues.

“The folks that win the Academy Awards are not necessarily the best actors,” he said.

“Those of us who want to hide things from people turn out to be the best actors.”

He urged officers to recognize warning signs, communicate openly and eliminate the shame associated with seeking help.

“We need the courage to acknowledge that part of being human is managing problems that create pain,” Minson said. “We’ve got to ignore and overcome shame to get the help we need because we’re all broken at some point.”

“Nobody's perfect. That's the condition of being human,” he stressed.

Police Commissioner Kevin Catalina has announced expanded mental health support through the department's Wellness Unit following the tragedies.

Minson, who also helped console NYPD officers and families several years ago when the department suffered four suicides in one month, believes forgiveness and compassion are essential to overcoming emotional suffering.

“Not only do we have to learn to forgive others, we have to learn to forgive ourselves,” he said.

He emphasized that the responsibilities and sacrifices of police work should never overshadow the personal well-being of those who serve.

“Take care of your human side. Don't let that badge, that gun, and that title be your only identity.”

Above all, Minson wants first responders struggling with emotional pain to understand that their lives matter, that asking for help is an act of courage, and that they are never alone.

“You're important. Somebody loves you, somebody's going to miss you horribly.”